Find the real issue behind a conflict with a colleague and plan a calm resolution
Uncovers the interests behind a workplace disagreement and plans a de-escalating, blame-free conversation to resolve it.
The prompt
Help me de-escalate a conflict I'm in with a colleague and plan a conversation focused on solving it, not on who's to blame.
Who and our working relationship: [ROLE, how long we've worked together, power dynamic]
What the conflict is about, as I see it: [THE DISAGREEMENT, with recent examples]
Their position, as best I understand it: [WHAT THEY WANT or say]
What's at stake: [work impact, deadlines, team atmosphere]
What's been tried: [conversations, emails, escalations so far]
Help me:
1. Find the underlying issue: separate each person's position (what we say we want) from our interests (why we want it). Identify the type of conflict - goals, process, roles, resources, values, or relationship - and what keeps it going.
2. Common ground: the shared goals and interests we can build on.
3. De-escalation first: what to stop doing now, and a short message to request the conversation that lowers the temperature.
4. Conversation plan: opening line, ground rules, how to describe the problem as a shared one, questions to understand their interests, 2-3 options that serve both sides, and how to agree next steps.
5. Language for hard moments - when they blame, interrupt, or bring up the past.
6. Follow-up: how to confirm what we agreed and check in.
Rules: stay fair to the other person - point out where my account may be one-sided. Suggest bringing in a manager or HR if the conflict involves harassment, discrimination, bullying, or safety, or if two honest attempts have failed.
Highlighted [brackets] are blanks to replace with your own details.
Fill in the blanks and use this promptMore Email & Workplace Communication prompts
What to fill in
- ROLE, how long we've worked together, power dynamic
- THE DISAGREEMENT, with recent examples
- WHAT THEY WANT or say
- work impact, deadlines, team atmosphere
- conversations, emails, escalations so far
How this prompt is built
This prompt follows the RTF structure (Role, Task, Format). RTF tells the model who to be, what to do and what shape the answer should take. It is the quickest structure that still gives noticeably better results than a bare request.
Related prompts
- Triage my inbox and draft quick repliesSorts a batch of emails by priority and drafts short replies so you can clear your inbox fast.
- Check my assumptions before a difficult conversationChallenges the story you've built about the other person, separates facts from interpretations, and adjusts your approach.
- Write past-due fee reminders to a law firm clientA three-step escalation of reminders for unpaid legal fees that protects the client relationship and follows the ethics rules on collections and withdrawal.
- Explain a strategy pivot to employees, customers, and investorsA coordinated communication plan and drafts for each audience when the company changes direction.