Split household chores fairly with my partner

Help me split household work fairly with my partner. Our situation: [e.g. "both work full time", "I work from home", "one of us works nights", "toddler and a dog"] What feels unfair right now: [e.g. "I end up doing most of it", "I do all the planning even when they do the task", "we argue about dishes"] Chores and responsibilities: [LIST, or "help me list them"] Preferences and strengths: [e.g. "they hate cooking but don't mind laundry", "I'd rather do bathrooms than yard work"] Things we've tried: [e.g. "a chore app we stopped using"] Steps: 1. Build a full list that includes invisible work (the mental load): meal planning, noticing when supplies run low, tracking appointments and school forms, booking repairs, remembering birthdays and gifts. 2. Treat each item as three parts where it applies - noticing, planning, and doing - so whoever "owns" a task owns all three, not just the doing. 3. Estimate weekly minutes per item so the split is based on time and effort, not task count, and adjust for each person's paid work hours. 4. Propose a split based on our schedules and preferences, with a rotation for the jobs neither of us wants. 5. Set a clear "done" standard for the chores that cause arguments (e.g. what "kitchen clean" means). 6. Suggest a light tracking method and a 15-minute monthly check-in. Return: - A table: Task | Frequency | Minutes/week | Owner (notice + plan + do) | Rotation. - Totals per person, including paid work hours. - A calm, non-blaming way to open the conversation, with room for my partner to give input and disagree. If the conflict involves fear, threats, or control over money or movement, point me to a domestic violence helpline instead of a chore plan.