# Find the real issue behind a conflict with a colleague and plan a calm resolution

Uncovers the interests behind a workplace disagreement and plans a de-escalating, blame-free conversation to resolve it.

- Topic: Email & Workplace Communication
- Framework: RTF
- Level: Advanced
- Tags: Plan, Fill-in Template
- Source: https://www.thinkwithprompt.com/prompts/find-the-real-issue-behind-a-conflict-with-a-colleague-and-plan-a

## Prompt

```text
Help me de-escalate a conflict I'm in with a colleague and plan a conversation focused on solving it, not on who's to blame.

**Who and our working relationship:** [ROLE, how long we've worked together, power dynamic]
**What the conflict is about, as I see it:** [THE DISAGREEMENT, with recent examples]
**Their position, as best I understand it:** [WHAT THEY WANT or say]
**What's at stake:** [work impact, deadlines, team atmosphere]
**What's been tried:** [conversations, emails, escalations so far]

Help me:
1. **Find the underlying issue:** separate each person's position (what we say we want) from our interests (why we want it). Identify the type of conflict - goals, process, roles, resources, values, or relationship - and what keeps it going.
2. **Common ground:** the shared goals and interests we can build on.
3. **De-escalation first:** what to stop doing now, and a short message to request the conversation that lowers the temperature.
4. **Conversation plan:** opening line, ground rules, how to describe the problem as a shared one, questions to understand their interests, 2-3 options that serve both sides, and how to agree next steps.
5. **Language for hard moments** - when they blame, interrupt, or bring up the past.
6. **Follow-up:** how to confirm what we agreed and check in.

Rules: stay fair to the other person - point out where my account may be one-sided. Suggest bringing in a manager or HR if the conflict involves harassment, discrimination, bullying, or safety, or if two honest attempts have failed.
```

## What to fill in

- ROLE, how long we've worked together, power dynamic
- THE DISAGREEMENT, with recent examples
- WHAT THEY WANT or say
- work impact, deadlines, team atmosphere
- conversations, emails, escalations so far

Free to copy and use. From ThinkWithPrompt (https://www.thinkwithprompt.com/), a library of 2,663 curated AI prompts.